RHUM

Sex is pretty fucking interesting. When you’re in a bed (or a car, or a grassy field, or in the back rows of a grandstand like that one time when I was younger) with another person, with undies around your ankles and all your inhibitions laid bare, you find out somebody’s true nature; their most base instincts are unmasked and their innermost idiosyncrasies are exposed for what they are.

Like a gun to the head, sex brings out somebody’s real character. It’s an animal instinct, and something that can’t be hidden. And my golly gosh sometimes you would never in your wildest dreams expect the results.

Except, dear reader, we won’t be examining me. I’m much too smart for that. No, the sexual spotlight will be shifted directly to my left, to my right, to my underside and my up, and when I’m really lucky right in front. Yes, this is going to be a column about Girls I’ve Had Sex With, and The Funny Stories That Accompany Them. It may be sexist, it may be masochistic, and it will most probably be completely made up, but hey, it’s the internet.

So grab a comfy chair, some light refreshments, and a bottle of lube, and prepare for some fun.

Of course, for the sake of privacy all girls names have been changed… to different spellings.

'Girls I've had Sex With'  is a weekly column starting any day now @ RHUM online.